Topic of the Month -  Parents, but not Partners

We all know the difficulties in surviving the first year of separation, but things can be particularly hard for parents as they try to renegotiate their relationship from being partners to working together as parents.

There are a number of ways in which mediation can help parents survive this transition and build a constructive relationship:

Firstly, we work with parents to reduce the areas of conflict between them. In particular we can help with communication problems by providing strategies to help parents establish constructive communication patterns. Experience shows that when communication can be re-established, relationships improve, and contact becomes much easier for both parents and children. Mediation can be effective in easing communication, even if the parents aren’t able to sit in the same room to start with.

The fear of being displaced as a parent can often frustrate contact; by discussing such issues, they can often be overcome as parents are reassured about their continued importance in their children’s lives. At the same time specific concerns about parenting can be addressed in a constructive way.

Mediation is flexible, and sessions can be spaced out to suit clients. This allows time for contact arrangements to become routine, with the option for review at a later stage. It also allows parents to build up contact over time where this would be in the children’s interests. This can be particularly helpful where trust has broken down.

Alongside the mediation DFSL can provide expert Children’s resource workers to ensure that children’s wishes and feelings are taken into account. We can also provide appointments with our Psychologists who can provide practical help in dealing with specific problems in the relationship, such as eliminating the ‘triggers’ which cause conflict between the adults. Counselling services are also available to provide longer-term help for individuals adjusting to the breakdown of a relationship. We are currently offering a special rate of £50 plus VAT for separated couples or parents who wish to attend counselling together. Please contact the Administrators on 01392 454940 for more details.

The start of the new school year brings changes in routine for many children, and this often affects contact arrangements. Whatever the problem, mediation can help parents to deal not only with the immediate problem, but also to build constructive relationships for the future.